Values (3): Living in line with your values: Staying on track
- steve lewis
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
By Jane Newman
Living by your values can be such a rewarding journey, even though it can be a bit challenging at times. Sometimes, embracing what truly matters means we need to tackle some discomfort or uncertainty along the way.
Let us say that you have decided to embrace a life that aligns with your values, and most of the time, this brings you a genuine sense of joy and fulfilment. However, there are moments when you find it a bit challenging to stay true to those values. It is perfectly natural to question what might be causing this struggle and how you can address it.
This article will help you explore common barriers and provide strategies to move toward a more meaningful life.
What are the common barriers to values-based living?
· When your values are not really your values
· You prioritise short-term comfort over values-based living
· When you're not present, you overlook everyday opportunities to act on your values
· You do not build ways to reflect on how values-based living is working for you
Which barriers resonate most with you? Have a read of the fuller explanations below and explore our suggestions on how you can overcome these barriers.
When your values are not really your values
Sometimes, values can be imposed by others, or come from societal expectations, for example, “I should be successful” or “I need to put others before myself.”
Asking yourself the question: “are these values really mine? Or might this particular value be something which is actually important to someone else – not me?”
Strategies to try
You can look for values that you think you ‘should’ hold. A great question to ask is: “Would I still value this, if no one else knew about it?”
This should help you understand if this value is authentic to you. If living in line with this value leads you to feel resentment, exhaustion, or disconnection, it may not be an authentic value. It may be time to review.
When you prioritise short-term comfort over values-based living
When we engage with our values, it’s completely normal to encounter some challenging thoughts or emotions. These feelings sometimes make it harder for us to take actions that reflect those values.
Let's say, for instance, that you truly value ‘making a contribution’. You might choose to volunteer at a local charity to demonstrate that value. However, as you step into this new experience, you feel a bit nervous. This is natural because you are trying something new and meeting people you don’t yet know. It can be tempting to want to avoid that nervousness and step away from the experience rather than taking a step toward what aligns with your values. Remember, it's okay to feel those nerves; what matters is taking that courageous step to embrace your values!
Strategies to try:
It is important to acknowledge that emotions fluctuate, particularly when you are doing things which are important to you.
The challenge is to ensure that your emotions do not control you; instead, you control your behaviours so they stay in line with your values. A good practice is to observe your emotions without allowing them to dictate your behaviour. Rather than reacting impulsively, take a moment to pause, recognise what you are feeling, and ask yourself:
“What would the version of me who embodies my values do next?” Practicing mindfulness, self-compassion, and committed action—even when facing challenging emotions—helps you stay aligned with what truly matters.
When you're not present, you overlook everyday opportunities to act on your values
It’s very normal to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past. When this happens, we may disconnect from the present moment. We are then more likely to be acting on autopilot or be driven by our habits and fears or external pressures rather than taking the opportunity to act and behave in line with our values.
Strategies to try:
By practising ‘slowing down’ and intentionally bringing your attention to the present moment, you can create some space for you to make conscious choices that align with what truly matters to you.
There are many simple ways that can help you to slow down. One of the simplest is to take a deep breath before responding in a conversation. This gives you space to choose how you want to reply and act with intention, and in line with your values.
You do not build ways to reflect on how values-based living is working for you
Building practices of intention and reflection, where you set aside time to pause, check in, and realign with what truly matters, can be hard in busy lives. Missing this practice risks you not seeing when your actions are intentional rather than reactive.
Strategies to try:
You can adopt small habits like starting the day by asking:
What are the values which are most meaningful to you right now?
What one small action you can take today to move toward this value?
How might you remind yourself of this value when challenges arise?
You might reflect, at the end of the day on one or more of these questions:
Did your actions today align with your values? If so, how?
Where did you notice yourself drifting away from your values, and what got in the way?
Were there small moments where you acted on you values, even in ways you didn’t expect?
If I could replay today, what’s one thing you might do differently to be more in line with your values?
What’s one small action you can take tomorrow to move toward the life you want to live?
In conclusion:
Living a life that aligns with what truly matters to you is rewarding, though it can also involve setbacks. The good news is that values are not tasks to complete or goals to check off; they are ongoing directions you can engage with at any moment. Thus, values remain accessible no matter where you are in life. If you drift away from them, with intention, flexibility, persistence, and self-compassion, you can always return and make choices that realign you with what truly matters.
Edited by: Steve Lewis
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